iWatch

-by Mariner Teresa

I was watching Dancing with the Stars a few weeks ago and I nearly had to call 911, and it wasn’t because of Corbin’s Paso Doble, it was because of the commercial that came afterward.

In an earlier post, I wrote about Apple’s pending release of the new iOS 7. I wasn’t looking forward to having to change and at the end of the post, I did make a remark about the Google Glass. The truth is that I was hoping that in Apple’s keynote they would unveil some sort of wearable technology. Actually, I was anticipating the release of a watch. I love watches. I live for watches. But no. Nada. Didn’t happen. There was the new iPhone using plastic, the rollout of iOS 7 and some other more interesting things that plunged me into reflection, and that reflection continues. But, more on that later.

Between Corbin taking off his shirt and the next dance, which I don’t really remember, was this commercial:

The TV: “Tracy calling Hemlock Holmes.”
Me: Sitting up straight in my recliner, “what?”
The TV: “Elroy, you’re a genius…”
Me: Sitting up even straighter, “Oh my word, they’re doing it!”
The TV: “It’s morphin time”
Me: Sitting on the edge of my recliner, “Yes! It’s some sort of technology advertising coup!”
The TV: “Kitt call the police…”
Me: Standing now, “They ARE DOING IT!”
The TV: “Giant robot, put your laser ray on that tower.”
Me: I am squeezing the remote so hard, the batteries are going to pop out.
The TV: “I think Uncle Gadget may be in trouble.”
Me: I am standing near the TV with so much anticipation, you’d think the Steeler’s were 6 and 0 instead of 1 and 5.
The TV: “Ominous clicking, ominous clicking, ominous clicking”
Me: “Come on! Show it!”
The TV: “Bones, you and Sulu to the transporter room…”
Me: “This is SO APPLE. I can’t wait to see the watch. I knew they’d do it!”
The TV: “After all these years. It’s finally real.”
Me: “Galaxy Gear? Did I see that right? Samsung? Really? You’re kidding, right? Really? Samsung?”

Did you hear that, that deflating sound?

To say that I was disappointed is an understatement. The keynote this fall was not spectacular, as we have come to expect from Apple. They did reveal some really interesting stuff though, the A7 chip and their comment that they found that larger pixels make a better picture because it lets in more light and the iPhone’s ability to be more sensitive to motion. I can’t help but think that deep in the basement of Cupertino, something wonderful is happening.

I don’t care what it is, as long as it’s a watch.